IS ONLINE DATING ADDING PRESSURE TO BE IN A RELATIONSHIP?

11 November 2016

What do we think about online/internet dating?
Reliable? Trustworthy? Only good for a one night stand?! 
Is online dating just adding to the pressure of people feeling like they need to be in a relationship or have sex? Is it making people more ‘desperate’?


Are you single? Do you date online and feel pressure to be in a relationship?

Sex
f how they’ve lost their virginity or have a partner and are planning on ‘doing it’ - you’re naturally jealous, and mostly pressured feeling like you should be doing the same. Online dating has made it in a way easier for people specifically young people to have sex, is this promoting that sex means nothing? or should mean nothing? I actually thought tinder had an age limit on it, but apparently there are girls/boys as young as 13 going on it/maybe lying about their age and making themselves '16'.

Online dating also encourages people in their spare time to just have a casual swipe through a group of people they could ‘potentially’ find sexually attractive. When they match with someone, it then becomes a question of, is this match up for a relationship? sex? a quick fling? As there is so much unknown about the person you are talking to on these sites, does it make the first meet up centred around are we going to have sex? is this want they want? do i want it? Unless it has been spoken about and agreed already - then perfect.

Relationships
Every relationship is different, a loving relationship with a partner is a different kind of experience to one with a sibling, parent or friend. There is a more physical/intimate side that you experience when you have your first partner/any partner. Online dating is making it easier for people to find ‘the one’ - does it make single people feel worse that they haven’t met anyone yet? &  that they will always be alone!?

Mutual Interests
Now, quite a controversial topic, some people say opposites attract, some people think that the more you have in common the easier it is to have a relationship. Tinder for example (probably going to be using tinder as an example a lot because its the only online dating app i’ve used!) is linked to people’s personal Facebook pages. So when you are swiping through the hoards of potential ‘soul mates’ it also shows people’s ‘interests’ that they have put on their page - potentially embarrassing for some, as they probably filled that out when they first got facebook… which for me was a while back. This in a way is meant to help you decide whether you think you would get on with the person or not… personally I didn’t look at this too much. I was more interested in finding the beaut boys - lolz. That statement for example though, emphasises the fact that people are maybe being less aware of how much they actually have in common with someone and are just skipping straight into the relationship - due to pressure they feel to be in one, potentially.

Stories
Again going back to younger adults, not only has sex become a pressured topic, but also the story surrounding it. People in general love to tell a story & big themselves up, that's just how it is - I bloomin’ love it! So when they’ve met someone on an online dating app, they can not wait to tell friends etc what happened, ‘all the juicy gossip’ - (I’m aware that's more of a girls thing - but lads lets not lie, you talk about partners you’ve ‘banged’ just as much.) This in turn clicks the circle back into motion making someone else now feel pressured into a relationship because their friend has met up with a complete stranger, been on a date or had sex. Is this the circle that will always happen? online dating or not? Does it make the story sound ‘better’ because they’ve been risky and met up with a complete stranger, instead of someone they met face to face/knew already?

Age
Is age a factor in whether you feel pressured or not? As you get older do you realise its ‘silly’ to feel pressure? Or feel more pressure because you may think time is running out to find the one? I have spoken in this post about young adults feeling pressure to have sex or be in a relationship, but I haven’t really hit on the older generation. Every person is the same in the fact that they want to be loved… I deffo do.

A friend of my Mum’s is on every dating website going, because she doesn’t want to accept that she will spend the rest of her life alone - which clearly wont happen as she has friends and family around her. But in her eyes time is running out, and she feels pressure from not only other people but just the general life clock that she will not find love and someone to spend her life with. Hence why she is signed up to a few online dating services to help her . However this also makes her feel pressure to find someone as she always says ‘how can I not even find someone online.’ I feel like people presume it’s ‘easy’ to find love online, now that their are so many apps and websites out there - ‘how can you not find love?’  or at least sex - if that's what ya want.

Personally, I feel like there should be a bit more emphasis in the world that being single is a okay. There is nothing wrong with you if you are single!

We'd love to know...
What do you think?
Is online dating adding pressure to be in a relationship?
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Written by Fran Page
for Daily Focal

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