18 October 2016

Constantly asked 'How do you stay together so long?', 'What is the secret?'.
Well the truth to a long term relationship is... There isn't one!
You'll make last what you want to. But are they as glamorous as single people think?

No, they come with serious baggage, and serious hard work.
Imagine having to agree with someone, on everything in your life or arguing and arguing until you come to the final decision. It's no walk in the park!
Yes, you have some incredible, memorable and hilarious times together because you are madly in love. But that's all part of it. There are no tips or trick to a long relationship, it's what you make it.

Through sickness and health, arguing about doing the washing up and what movie to watch.
Spending time together, going on holiday, moving in together and spending Christmas together - all come with disagreement and discussions, where some end in laughs and some end in tears!
The most important part of being in a lasting relationship is talking to each other.
I find being blatantly honest with each other is definitely the way forward and possibly the only tip, because then there are no unexpected surprised that crop up last minute and ruin everything.

I've spent nearly 5 years with my partner and it's amazing, but it doesn't get easier. You think that once you're settled and been together a year it's all hunky dory. But it's not as glamorous as you think.

I'm completely in love and I'm so, so happy that I have my best friend with me all the time. That we live together and share things together and can travel the world together. But it's not all happy and perfect because all those things come with opinions and opinions clash - we're human.

But it your choice, if you want to spend your life with that person that you've completely fallen for, you'll do exactly that! If you not 110% sure then you probably won't.
There are no tips, there are no secrets. It's not about how much sex you have, the age you met or how long you're together - all those points are void because it's about you, you personally and what you want.

I'm sure I'm going to spend my life with my partner and we've made some pretty big and serious decisions together like getting a dog, buying a house and deciding children's names.
We're not married and we don't have any children (well, we have Arla our Pug and she's pretty much our kid with her own bed and wardrobe), we're known each other since we were 11 years old and have been together since we were 17.

Long term relationships are about love, life and compromise.
Maybe you want to eat a curry tonight, and your partner might want a pizza takeaway... You decide things together and traveling through life together, compromising for each other because you're madly and completely in love with each other, you'd do what you can for them, with arguments, play fights and disagreements along the way, it's life!
You're best friend, your weakness and your worst enemy is your life partner, your soul mate.

So don't worry if you haven't found him or her yet and you've been searching for what feels like forever, because you've just not found the right one for you yet. The one that's going to make you feel amazing, special and loved and the one who's going to drive you completely mental and annoy the shit out of you for the rest of your life, but you'll find them soon and it'll change your life for forever, but remember, only if you want it too.

We'd love to know...
Do you think there is a secret to longterm love?
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Written by Charlie Pallett
for Daily Focal

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