22 October 2016

This is not an easy post for me to write.
It isn't my usual happy go lucky, silly antics, my kids are hilarious loons type of post I normally write. It's a 'this sucks ass' sort of post. In fact it's a 'this sucks balls too' kind of post.
'This' being Anxiety. Anxiety sucks. Anxiety can kiss my ass! 

Such a common thing people suffer with Anxiety, more people need to fee like they can talk about it. 

I have spent the last 2.5 years living in an extremely stressful situation - one that I'm not going to bore you with because it serves no purpose. I am in no way pointing fingers or handing out blame because I am a strong believer in us ourselves being responsible for how we feel and how we let others make us feel. 

Do I blame myself? I did. I've made peace with it now.
I was also angry. At myself. For letting things go this far. For putting myself in this situation again. Because it is not the first time, or the second.
So third time lucky? 

Actually, you know what? it is lucky.
Because I have been here before and so I am better equipped to deal with it, although it took me a few days to remember that. 
I am also indescribably lucky to have to the best family ever. They are my support system, they are my rocks and they are my world. If you're reading this thank you and I love you! 

I cannot imagine what it is like to live with someone who suffers from anxiety this the way a lot of people have. Then again if you've never experienced it for yourself you cannot imagine how it feels, how it can take over. 

It isn't as bad as it has been before, I know I'm not losing my mind. That I'm not crazy. That the fact that I feel like I can't breathe is just that, a feeling not a reality. That nothing bad is going to happen to me and that it will end. 

Having said that the last few weeks haven't been easy. It's been a roller coaster of emotions, I have cried endless tears for no apparent reason. I have felt times of overwhelming anxiety, I've had a panic attack or 2 and I've felt insanely guilty for not feeling like I'm capable of being my best for my sons. 

For a long time the thought of 'it' reoccurring has been one of my biggest fears.
I'm not afraid of it any more. 

I'm done with it now. Enough is enough.
I have a choice and I choose to feel good!
I choose to feel happy and calm and relaxed.
I choose to be strong and I choose to kick Anxiety's but!

So you know what Anxiety?
Thank you for getting my out of an unhealthy situation, thank you for scaring me into doing what I needed to do. I don't need you any more. So you know what else? You can f*ck right off and kiss my ass while you're at it! 

This is my story, please feel free to share yours! 

We'd love to know...
If you suffer from anxiety and what methods and tips you have to get yourself through it
[Leave a comment]

Written by Laura Nicholson-Simpson

1 comment

  1. So glad your able to now write about your experiences. I look forward to hearing more from you in future posts.



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