07 October 2016

With the dating world practically at our fingers tips, we can search for love anywhere, anytime and with zero effort at all. 
In bed, on the train, out with friends, on the toilet. You name it. As long as you have a smart device on you, you can search for the paradise of love even while riding the porcelain throne. 
With one simple swipe of the finger we open a world of possibilities in finding our potential futures. But with all this ease of access and zero effort needed have we become a generation that is too picky to love? 

Are dating apps the future to finding the one, or have we got this all very wrong?
We want it all, and we want it now. We don't want to have to woo our soul mates anymore. Gone are the first dates and hours spent getting to know our baes, and replaced with the swapping of emojis and gifs. 
Now I'm not saying this is everyone I have friends and family members that have found their loves the old fashioned way, but it definitely seems to be the norm to be swiping through a catalogue of people in order to find someone that looks interesting enough to hold a conversation, has similar interests, and can make you snort pepsi out your nose laughing. But how much can you get to know someone by their photo and bio? 
Growing up we were always told to "never judge a book by its cover", yet this is exactly what we spend our evenings and daily commutes doing. 
Left, left, right, left, *pause- right, left, left. 
Within seconds we are making a judged decision on this unknowing person looking back at us from our screens, their entire life written down in two or three sentences on a page we probably don't even read and carefully thought out pictures, where we then decide we fancy their mate more than them, so its another left swipe and they are completely forgotten about. Or you match, yet no-one puts the effort into typing out the first message because this is the god damn 21st century and guys believe girls should make the effort, and girls still want the guy to man up and message first. So it sits their in your matched box and ghosts itself. 
But what happens when you do match, and the first message comes through? 
You fast forward a few witty conversations and sassy responses from yourself, and you are well on your way to finding love right? Not quite. 
First you need to meet, have a 10/10 class A date, make them laugh till their sides hurt, wow them with your intellect, intrigue them with your infectious personality and then leave them wanting to know more. 
Now hang on Amanda, I hear you say. Surely thats the same, for even any date regardless of how you met? 
But the problem with our tinder-daters is that- they then have the opportunity to swipe through their feed, while travelling back home from their date with you or even when you are at the bar or in the toilet... Because its become so much of a habit, that our fingers just automatically click the app without even realising, and before you know it you are matched again- and so it starts all over..
You could have had the worlds best date- but with the knowledge at the back of every ones minds in this tinder-ration is that- what if there is better? Just one more swipe.
It's too easy to find someone you are attracted too, there is always someone who could bring you that little bit more banter, that someone who can stroke your ego just that little bit more as you type out the same lines over and over to the next one. We don't allow ourselves enough opportunity to get to know someone, before binning and benching and moving onto the next right, because that right, could be Mr. Right. And why should we settle on one potential when there is a whole app full of them? 
We base our decisions on atheistically pleasing faces, a bio that mentions that they like cats and the same film as you, and swap pleasantries while lying in bed or cooking dinner. 
But where have the butterflies gone in receiving a text from the guy you met last night and couldn't get out of your mind? Where has the effort gone in wanting to get to know someone because you felt that spark when your hands brushed past each other? Where has the exclusivity gone in wanting to be their one and only because you knew when you locked eyes over a crowded platform that they were the one for you? 
Replaced by. "Mate you're fit, and your body is banging.
Has our technological advances for wanting it all destroyed our chances of ever falling in love?

We'd love to know...
Tell us your online dating stories!
Where did you meet your partner? Have you had dating app success?
[Leave a comment]

Written by Amanda Bootes
for Daily Focal 


  1. Great Post Amanda!
    My personal favourite part it 'Mate you're fit, and your body is banging' LOL

  2. It's literally people's favourite chat up lines it seems!!

  3. Anonymous7/10/16

    "you can search for the paradise of love even while riding the porcelain throne" wonderful image Amanda!

    Really good article and a lot more serious and thought provoking than I expected it to be.

  4. Why have I NEVER been told I'm banging?!
    Sad times.
    Agree there is a temptation to 'play' tinder rather than actively looking for love. Let's not forget this site did not start as a 'dating' site.

    Personally this is why I have previously preferred the in person singles events. Such as speed dating (which I will be writing about in the near future).

    Thanks for the read and the chuckles

  5. I'm already used to chatting on the dating websites. It is become a part of my life. A lot of my friends even got married in this way. One of my good friends married with Ukrainian girl. After I met with her, I wanted to meet the same girl, as she is! For this, I found the dating site, on which there was a lot of ukraine females for marriage deepinlove. I think that soon I will also be lucky as my friend, and will meet the same wonderful girl!))

  6. Blind dates that last longer than this often reach a point where the couple runs out of things to talk about and the date can stagnate leaving a negative feeling at the end of the date.

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  9. I agree, yes ... Unpleasant surprises happen too often in dating, and I, as like you, just hate obsessive people. Excessive communication irritates me. Unless the online video chatroulette that I use to meet with girls, pretty an acceptable way to meet someone without intrusive routine problems. I can communicate with a beautiful girl, but if the I had a truly bad week or I'm very busy I do not use chat a whole day, two or even more. Freedom of choice, as long as that's all I need ...And if it's someone who does not like me, it's not really important, I'm honest with any girls, and they can love me and they can not love, it's their right and only

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